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Is your Child Stressed?

Is your Child Stressed?

Admin July 18, 2021

Is your child stressed?

When we think of childhood, we typically think of a time that is free of stress and worries. However, if you think back to your own childhood, would you find it entirely stress free? Perhaps not. Nor is the childhood of our children entirely stress or worry free. Especially in today’s day and age where technology and the speed of living has complicated our lives so much, can we really expect our children’s lives to be entirely unaffected by the surrounding complexities and worries?

What are the Sources of Stress?

Sources of stress can be both internal or external demands or expectations. External demands could be the ones that typically result from family, jobs, friends or school. Internal stress can accrued from our internal dialogue about what we should be doing vis a vis what we’re actually able to do.

Thus, stress can be affecting everyone, even children who are just starting school. In preschoolers, for example, students could face separation anxiety as they start exploring the world on their own for the first time, without the reassuring presence of their parents. For older children, academic and social pressures (pressure to fit in or stand out) could be mounting up to create stress.

Too many kids in our times are too busy to explore their creativity or relax after school. Their schedules are choc a bloc with extra-curricular activities leaving no place for “fun” in their lives. If children are complaining about the activities or refusing to participate, listen to them and try to reach a solution through discussion. Talk about the pros and cons of continuing an activity. Help your child to manage their time and responsibility to lessen the anxiety.

Children are also greatly affected by their surroundings. Are you talking about your worries about work, or someone’s illness within their earshot? Are they hearing their parents arguing? A stressful situation at home results in children imbibing stress.

News, TV programs and even shows on YouTube can cause stress for children. Images and discussions of natural and man-made calamities, terrorism, war can affect their sense of safety and security, along with their view of a stable and happy future.

Death of a loved one, divorce or separation in the family or even in the extended family can suddenly disrupt their sense of security and sense of predictability of their future. Sometimes it can also be a fear of not being accepted by their peers in school because of a life altering event like divorce. These additional pressures on top of the daily pressures they face can magnify their stress levels.

Even the most amicable divorce is extremely tough for the children since their basic security system, their family, undergoes a huge change. Parents who are separated or divorced should be careful about not putting their children in a position where they have to choose sides or make disparaging comments about the other parent.

Often, things that don’t seem to be a big deal to adults might cause a lot of stress to children. Reassure your child that you understand that and make sure their feelings are heard out and never dismissed.

Signs and Symptoms of Stress

Look out for short term behavioral changes like mood swings, acting out, changes in sleep patterns or bedwetting that can be indicative of stress in children. Some children might even have physical ramifications like stomach ache or headaches. Other kids might have trouble with concentration or school activities. Many others become withdrawn and start spending time by themselves.

In younger children, stress manifests in different ways like picking up new habits like thumb sucking, hair twirling, or nose picking; older children may begin to lie, bully, or defy authority. A stressed child might also overreact to minor problems, have nightmares, become clingy, or have drastic changes in academic performance.

Reducing Stress

Proper Rest and Good Nutrition

Proper rest and nutrition are unparalleled as a helping mechanism for kids to cope. Make sure your kids are getting adequate rest and good nutrition to ensure that they are equipped to handle stress.

Connection and Quality Time

Nothing can replace the time that you can spend with your children in reassuring them that the world is a safe place where their parents have ‘got their back’. Make time for your children every day, whether they want to talk or just spend some quiet time with you, make yourself available for them. They might not talk and you need not push them to, even if you are aware of what they are worried about. Sometimes all they need is for you to be round and have some fun with them.

Communication and Expressing Interest

Even through a busy schedule make sure you ask your children about their day and express interest in their lives. Showing that you care helps them to open up to you about their stressors. It shows them that they are important to you.

Develop an exercise regimen or maintain a journal to help them cope with stress. Come up with solutions like spending more time talking with them and maybe cutting down on some after school activities.

Preparation and Reassurance

When you anticipate a stressful situation for your child, prepare them for it. Tailor the information for your child’s age. Younger kids don’t need as much advance preparation as older children or teenagers.

Reassure them that it’s okay to feel angry, sad, lonely or anxious and it is ok to share those feelings. Remind them that they will be able to handle the situation. Demonstrate your faith in their abilities to build up their confidence in themselves.

Helping Your Child Cope

When children refuse to discuss issues that are stressing them out, try discussing situations that you faced as a child and how you dealt with the situation. This will show them that you are open to talk about things, no matter how difficult. You also need to be available when they finally make up their minds and are ready to talk.

In case your child shows concerning symptoms and are unwilling to talk for a long time, consider consulting a therapist or a mental health specialist. You need to seek professional attention when any change in behavior persists, when stress is causing serious anxiety, or when the behavior causes significant problems at school or at home.

Consult your doctor or the counselors and teachers at school to find more resources to help your child cope with stress.

 

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